I’m still not totally over the Rebels Season 2 finale…what happened to my Ahsoka?! I personally subscribe to this little theory that Ashley Eckstein herself even considers. It’s the only one that brings me peace. Honestly, before this past season started, I had a reasonable fear that Ahsoka was going to die; after all, that’s the only way to justify her character not being in the movies (aside from our society’s tragic lack of time travel technology). But I was sincerely hoping she would last longer than she did; couldn’t they have waited until the series was nearing its’ end?! No, because I know that it’s supposed to focus on our main group of rebels: Ezra, Kanan, Hera, Sabine, and Zeb. And yeah, that’s pretty fair, I guess. I’m sure I’m not the only one who wants an Ahsoka show! But anyway, the day after the finale, Ashley Eckstein’s beautiful nerdy girl clothing brand Her Universe released a beautiful shirt designed by the creator of Ahsoka himself: Dave Filoni.

Naturally, this sold out the same day it was released. I foolishly waited until the evening to place my order and missed out on the first batch, but luckily I wasn’t the only one; there was a huge demand for the shirt so a few days later, you were able to pre-order it for the next batch. Now I have it, and it’s no longer on the Her Universe website. I love it so much. Super cute, even though it’s actually a unisex fit (everybody loves Ahsoka), and so soft.

Ignore my stupid face and admire my beautiful shirt!!

OH! Speaking of Ahsoka…on Twitter I follow just a few other major Ahsoka fans, and one of them tweeted about how Dave Filoni had an idea for these “Ahsoka Loyalist” clone troopers that would have existed had the series not been cancelled. I need this mere concept drawing on a t-shirt ASAP. LOOK AT IT:

I’m in love. It’s perfect. I researched it myself to verify its’ authenticity and discovered this awesome, super detailed summary about the Untold Clone Wars Panel that Dave Filoni and Pablo Hidalgo spoke at during last year’s Star Wars Celebration. I also then looked it up on YouTube and was watching it for a while, but I had to stop because they were talking about Asaaj Ventress’ last episode concept, which happens to be the inspiration for a book I’m reading right now that my boyfriend bought for me called The Dark Disciple. He saw that it said “based on unproduced epsiodes of the Clone Wars” on the bottom and immediately thought of me. And it’s awesome, I love it so far. I had to stop the video, just in case they went on to explain the whole story (the unfished clip they showed already was precisely like one of the events early on in the book). That, and it was time for bed. And it’s actually that time again…

But…one last thought: I’ve loved Star Wars my entire life, but was never particularly fond of stormtroopers. For me, Attack of the Clones and the Clone Wars series make the Clone Troopers significantly more interesting, and even cooler looking. And in The Force Awakens, I love the design of the First Order troopers better than the original stormtroopers. And then there’s that moment with FN-2187. The first moment we see the humanity of the stormtroopers in these films (again, clone troopers not included; they’re their own breed of troopers). The bloody hand that marks Finn’s epiphany is one of my favorite moments in Star Wars history, despite my personal history of fainting at both the sight of and the mere thought of blood. Evidently I can handle it if it’s a subtle, yet incredibly bold remnant of destruction in my favorite space fairy tale. I just want t-shirts galore of Finn’s bloody helmet and Ahsoka’s Loyalist troopers’ helmets…and only those helmets…I already have this beautiful splatter artwork of that iconic, bloodied helmet by the wonderful Spooksieboo:

Yup, still have to hang that…alas, I’m still working on the overall arrangement of my art collection. I can’t wait to show you whenever it’s all up on my walls!

I still can’t stop thinking about the Star Wars Rebels season 2 finale, guys…while it was tragic, I can’t lie about being excited about the new journey Kanan is going to endure being a blind Jedi.

Then, I let the shallow part of myself react, and realized that we will no longer see Kanan’s sexy eyes…alas, the art of Lorna-Ka will help us all remember Kanan’s beautiful eyes:

That smolder. I bet he’s not even trying.

Oh. My. GOODNESS! Is anyone else still recovering from the Star Wars Rebels season 2 finale?! I know there has to be some of you out there; I noticed many tweets and comments on Instagram expressing the same feelings I was, freaking out about what happened to our dear Ahsoka Tano.

SPOILERS!

I thought I was being crazy, having been ridden with anxiety all night while I was at trivia with my friends, knowing that this intense episode was happening and I couldn’t see it. But then, looking at the reactions of other Ahsoka fans, I wasn’t alone.

Is she dead? She can’t be…we saw her still standing after her long awaited duel with her former master, Darth Vader. I’m watching that part again right now and I’m getting so emotional…it is absolutely this exchange that does it for me:

When Darth Vader turned around with less than half of his face revealed, I got chills. And when Ahsoka looks at him in that moment, I almost cry. Okay, perhaps I did cry…

Part of me has been embarrassed, feeling like an emotional wreck while out with my friends when I didn’t even know what was happening on this animated television series. But again, I’ve learned I’m not the only one. Ahsoka means a lot to her fans. We adore her. We were scared about what was going to happen to her. I believe in my heart she made it out alive, but that ending was a bit ambiguous to say that she absolutely survived, and I think Dave Filoni left it that way so that the show could focus back on the original Rebels gang for a while. Which is quite understandable, but being the huge Ahsoka fan I am, I’m sad that she won’t be a part of the show for who knows (besides Filoni) how long.

I think I got even more emotional watching the episode because, prior to this season, I honestly did not consider that Ahsoka would have felt guilty leaving Anakin when she left the Jedi Order. Did she feel responsible for what became of him? Did she feel like if she stuck around, none of this would have happened? Yes, I absolutely think she felt that way. And while she is absolutely not to blame, I do think her leaving the Jedi Order was part of Anakin’s path to the Dark Side. I read this article once before I even watched Clone Wars and it talked about how the show pointed out the flaws in the Jedi Order, and that Barriss Offee wasn’t entirely wrong to say that the Jedi Order was corrupt (though she was entirely wrong to frame Ahsoka so carelessly, so viciously done with ease). When Ahsoka was walking away from the Jedi Temple, Anakin admitted he thought about leaving the Order as well. Ahsoka knew he understood how she felt, and even that shows their beautiful bond as Padawan and Master, even more so as Brother and Sister. And my tear ducts were once again activated when they were dueling, and Ahsoka tells Vader “I won’t leave you…not this time,”, confirming that she definitely felt guilty and was even trying to make things right. Unfortunately, at this point, we know that’s not possible. Even Dave Filoni has said in recent interviews that Vader is the most affected by the presence of Luke. And that’s fine! It just adds to the tragedy of what Anakin Skywalker became, and how heartbreaking it must be for Ahsoka to see her dearest friend become the biggest monster in the galaxy and want to help, but she may have come to the realization that she cannot fix him in the hardest way.

Aside from the heart-wrenching drama between former master and apprentice, that episode was crazy all around! Darth Maul, or rather, just Maul now, has returned!! And naturally, he’s causing our gang of Rebels lots of trouble! First, it both disturbed me and yet still amused me to see him imitate Yoda’s introduction from Empire Strikes Back, appearing as a helpless old man with a cane telling Ezra to put away his weapon, that he means no harm. LIES! It was also heartbreaking to see him blind Kanan, but then honestly, it was so cool to see Kanan fight back, using the Force more than ever before to help guide him. Also, small thing…but I kinda liked that Maul referred to Ahsoka as “Lady Tano”. Maul is still powerful, still evil, still badass and scary. I’m excited for more Maul in the next season!

And, let’s just take a look at this again….it is now up there with Finn’s bloody stormtrooper helmet in my all time favorite powerful Star Wars images/moments:

Look at that and just try telling me it doesn’t give you the chills and make you want to cry.

But also, I have to show you this thing I found on Pinterest a while ago, hitting me right in the feels because of not only Ahsoka and Anakin, but also because it’s quoting one of my favorite Fall Out Boy songs:

And I don’t care what anyone else says, AHSOKA LIVES!!