“To me, she’s royalty.”

“I read the news today, oh boy…”

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I’m absolutely devastated. Carrie Fisher passed away today after suffering a heart attack on a plane last week. I’m honestly heartbroken. I don’t even know what to say…I wasn’t expecting to have to say goodbye to another one of my idols this year. A woman I’ve admired all of my life; when I was little, for her various roles (of course Star Wars but also others like the less appreciated classic The Burbs), and as I’ve been an adult struggling with mental illness, she’s become even more of an inspiration to me as she’s been so open with her own struggles. I adore this woman, I always have, and I always will. This year has honestly been terrible, from my beloved David Bowie, to Gene Wilder, Prince, George Michael, (among many others, I know I’ve discussed those as well) and now Carrie Fisher. Also, the tragedy that was this year’s presidential election…I’m devastated. I’ve never witnessed such an awful year in my young life. There’s been some excellent films, like Star Trek Beyond and Rogue One, and I finally got out a new job that isn’t retail that I like so far…so it’s not completely hopeless. But I’m still devastated by the election and all of the bigotry and hate that apparently still thrives in my country. And now, I’ve lost my Princess Leia, my General. We all have. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only fan who has sobbed over the loss of this beautiful star, with all of the outpouring on social media I’ve seen today.

What’s even worse? I could have met her back in August at Wizard World Comic Con in Chicago. I was fortunate enough to get a seat during her panel and hear her speak while being in the same room with her, and I was maybe just like 5 feet away from her when she was doing autographs and pictures with other fans. I only didn’t choose to meet her at the time because I was trying to be financially responsible and not add to the credit card debt I had accumulated at the time. I have learned my lesson; I would really rather be poor for a little bit than miss out on what would turn out to be the only opportunity I would have to meet one of my lifelong idols. I still donned a Princess Leia-inspired outfit (dress by Her Universe, of course), and I was hoping she would notice me while signing autographs and posing for pictures, but she was too busy (which is fine. I wouldn’t want her to neglect her other fans). Not buying a photo op with her will forever be my greatest regret in life.

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I’ve been so busy with my old job, my new job, and holiday shopping and festivities, I haven’t even been able to talk about how much I loved Rogue One. And…SPOILERS AHEAD!!

I was crying at the end of the movie because of all of the tragic events, and then I was crying happy tears and jumping in my seat because the movie ended with Princess Leia receiving the plans to the Death Star, and even though it was slightly odd because it was a CGI Carrie Fisher, I still cried at the sight of her. Also, I’m so glad they didn’t just cast another actress for that moment; I know Carrie Fisher wouldn’t have been too happy about that. At that panel back in August, someone mentioned the new Han Solo movie and asked if she would like to see a similar movie for Princess Leia, and she seemed to hate that idea because she is the only rightful Princess Leia. And damn straight, she is. I have been wanting to go see Rogue One again because apparently I missed all of the Star Wars rebels Easter eggs/references, so I need to watch it again and take a closer look. Now, I’m just going to be sobbing even more when that very last scene comes up.

Let’s take a moment and just enjoy a snippet of my Leia collection:

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Picked this up at Wizard World by Bianca Roman-Stumpff.

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Only one out of my three Star Wars blankets…have you ever seen such a lovely blanket? I just haven’t put this Leia mermaid by Aleigh Watford up yet because she’s part of a mermaid art collection I’m working on.

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And let’s also just admire her:

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She seems like that super fun and playful youthful friend:

Princess Leia “Carrie Fisher”,C3PO “Anthony Daniels” Empire Strikes Back…:

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Carrie Fisher and Mark Hamill | Rare and beautiful celebrity photos:

On Nov. 13, 1978, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher were taking a break from filming “The Star Wars Holiday Special” when a news wire photographer caught this cute moment.:

Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher, 1977:

Harrison Ford, David Prowse, Carrie Fisher, Peter Mayhew, Mark Hamill and Kenny Baker:

Also, we need to talk about how Kenny Baker and Carrie Fisher passed away the same year….Princess Leia is going up to Heaven to be with her little messenger, R2-D2.  One of my other Star Wars idols, Ashley Eckstein, posted this on her social media pages:

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Wait…admire her some more, and this time, smile:

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Okay, she’s not saying this line at this exact moment, but I love in The Burbs when she says to Ray (played by my also beloved Tom Hanks) “you were up at the crack of dawn watching a dog poop.”

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I could go all day….I’ll stop now. But it’s so sad. What makes me the saddest is that I truly believed she would be okay, that she was going to pull through just fine. I foolishly thought this year couldn’t get any worse. This is how I feel about this year:

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Nobody was ready for you to leave, General…

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“And the stars look very different today…”

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“Save the rebellion! Save the dream!”

ONE MORE SLEEP UNTIL I GET TO SEE ROGUE ONE OH MY GOODNESS!!! I don’t even know what to do with myself, I just want it to be tomorrow night already! I’ve already checked off one my pre-Rogue One activities this week, which was re-watching the episodes of Clone Wars that feature Saw Gerrera, who is in Rogue One played by Forest Whitaker. If this  sounds like a fun way to roll in Rogue One to you as well, you’ll want to check out Season 5, and he’s in all of these episodes:

  • A War on Two Fronts
  • Front Runners
  • The Soft War
  • Tipping Points

I forgot until I watched these episodes again the other night that Saw was actually a bit arrogant, not terribly unlike Anakin. But it’s not like his confidence isn’t warranted; with the help of Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka, he becomes a more focused, more tactful warrior. He’s also very quick to think of solutions, and quick to achieve those as well. But it’s his aggressive disposition that make him less qualified to lead the group of Onderon rebels than his sister, Steela.

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I have to admit…one of my favorite things about Saw Gerrera (besides that he’s badass and gets the job done) is that he chose Ahsoka to help him learn how to immobilize these Seperatist droids that are otherwise unbeatable with their very Violet from the Incredibles-like shields. And she’s obviously an excellent teacher. My hero!

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Just look at him go. Okay, so if you’re unfamiliar with his Clone Wars arc and plan on watching his episodes for the first time soon…SPOILERS AHEAD! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

I believe I’ve mentioned before how excited I am that we are finally getting a live action version of a previously exclusive to Clone Wars character, because I adore the series and it’s just awesome how everything connects in the Star Wars Universe. And this paves the way for an Ahsoka movie, or so I like to dream; Dave Filoni was at the recent world premiere for Rogue One in Los Angeles, so I’m hoping there’s a Rebels reference in there somewhere. Guys, I might pass out from excitement if Saw ends up referencing his training from my darling Ahsoka Tano. That would seriously be so amazing.

Aside from the general excitement that Clone Wars is being tied in to the new films, I’m very interested in Saw because when we met him, he was a very confident, aggressive, and passionate young man. I don’t know exactly how old he’s supposed to be, but he seems to be in his early 20’s. Towards the end of this whole Onderon tale, the group of rebels decide that his sister Steela is their perfect leader. At first, Saw is visibly a bit jealous, but eventually he concedes that his sister was the right choice.

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Despite my feelings towards Steela, she was indeed a smart and courageous leader. Obviously I didn’t like her at first because she’s a major bitch to Ahsoka just because Ahsoka also knows Lux, the handsome young Seperatist that Ahsoka shared a kiss with in one episode and has had a bit of a crush on. Alright, calm down, it wasn’t an actual romantic kiss; it was in a facade that she was Lux’s fiance to cover up that Ahsoka was a Jedi. Anyway, clearly Steela also has the hots for Lux and is unreasonably rude to Ahsoka in the beginning. But obviously my woman is the better person and even reaches out to Steela when she stormed off in frustration during the training that Obi Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka were conducting. Steela lightened up a little at that point, and then she became the rebels’ leader and everything was going smoother than they planned during a rescue of both Saw and their former, rightful King. That was, until Steela was hanging from a cliff. Ahsoka was lifting her with the Force until the Seperatists’ ship tank thing shot her in the shoulder, causing her to lose her hold on Steela. Steela fell to her death. Poor Saw immediately blamed himself; I think he had hit that ship earlier, but it all happens so fast I already can’t remember (my viewing was 3 nights ago). Ahsoka offers her condolences but Saw is actually kinda cold in return, saying that it’s over with, and walks away. Saw was just a young man at this point, and just lost the only family he had left to war. Fast forward to the period Rogue One takes place in, long after the Clone Wars and the Republic and the Seperatists, but the Empire been around long enough to destroy so many things at this point. In pictures and what we have seen from the trailers, Saw has one leg that has been replaced with a prosthetic of some sort. You can tell just by looking at him that he’s just been fighting his whole life, stuck in a never-ending cycle of war. But he’s still passionate about fighting the good fight.

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Also, watch him open this trailer:

Also, see his peg-leg intro and his undying passion in this one:

 

ONE MORE SLEEP!! THE TRAILERS ARE STILL MAKING ME EMOTIONAL!! I THINK BECAUSE I AM SO EXCITED?!?! AHHHH!!!!!

“You say you want a revolution, well, you know…we all wanna change the world,”

Or, if you’re a rebel in Rogue One, you want to change the universe! I don’t know about you guys, but I already got my tickets for Rogue One for the very first showing EVER (at my theater…) next Thursday night! I AM ONE WEEK AWAY FROM SEEING ROGUE ONE AND I AM SO EXCITED! Naturally, I have been eating up all the press I can find for this film. I know so many fans are excited for Darth Vader, but I honestly care more about our new characters, especially our rebels. I know I’ve already talked about how I’m already in love with both Jyn Erso, played by Felicity Jones, and Cassian Andor, played by Diego Luna, but like…I can’t stop. The actors are so damn charming and lovely, and every time I watch the trailers I get emotional, and every interview makes me adore them even more. Especially this recent MTV interview. First of all, watch that and fall in love in love with them.

Or…honestly, just look at them:

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THEY ARE BOTH SO BEAUTIFUL, INSIDE AND OUT. First of all, Diego Luna is absolutely gorgeous and adorable. AND he’s now among the far too short list of the few Latinos to star in a Star Wars movie! It’s amazing to see Latinos in Star Wars; representation does matter! It makes me so happy! But just look at him. And Felicity Jones! I have so much faith in her for this role. Look at her; she put her little Jyn Erso action figure sitting down next to her on her chair!! How perfect and charming is that?!

And believe me, I’m also excited for the rest of the beautifully diverse cast of rebels, they’re all so unique and intriguing. And, as a huge Clone Wars fan, I’m so freaking excited for Saw Gerrera, played by Forest Whitaker! Does this pave the way for a feature film all about Ahsoka Tano?! I THINK SO!! At least maybe one day!! Speaking of Ahsoka…remember my magical moment at a comic convention I went to, where, dressed as Ahsoka Tano, I found the beautiful Black Series Ahsoka Tano action figure?! And just a few days ago, Saint Nick made a visit to my door because I left my shoes out and left a sweet bag of gifts. The bag was filled with candy, treats, pretty socks, and there was a sweet little card with money in it that said “for your Ahsoka Tano figure”. What a beautiful Christmas surprise!

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I know, I’m spoiled. Look at my beautiful Ahsoka collection now:

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Oh look, there’s my little Cassian Andor right behind my latest Ahsoka! So, back to Rogue One…let’s admire Jyn and Cassian one more time:

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God, they’re so cool. I can feel it. Also, Jyn rocks a hood so well. Much like the ladies of Star Wars before her. Let’s take a moment to appreciate that…

She doesn’t wear it for long in the movie, but look how tough and darling my favorite scavenger is. Just look at the rare hooded Rey:

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And, one of my favorite looks of Padme Amidala (even though she is pretending to be her own handmaiden in this outfit), followed by some of her other hooded looks:

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“It’s cold in space.”

 

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Related image (from that one Clone Wars series I’ve yet to watch)

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Since I’m merely going by the timeline here, my darling hero Ahsoka Tano looks amazing when hooded; I definitely want to cosplay these looks someday:

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I am missing at least one more look but I can’t find it…so it’s time to move on to the original Star Wars heroine, Princess Leia:

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Fun fact: When I decided I was going to don this original Princess Leia look for Halloween a few years ago, it was hard to find one with a hood attached. And I decided I needed that because I love that part of the whole look. I don’t know why anyone would even make this costume without a hood, it simply doesn’t make any sense!

I know, the men don hoods very well, too…but today is not their time to shine….

Okay, just one…and my favorite, my beautiful Luke Skywalker:

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And that’s all for now! Until I feel like appreciating hoods in Star Wars again…