Ever heard of Itty Bittys from Hallmark? They’re marvelous little plushies. My boyfriend keeps buying them for me and I’m totally cool with it. I have a few Star Wars Christmas Itty Bittys; I used Chewbacca to top my Star Wars-themed Christmas tree. He also gave me little Rey for Christmas (as you can see at the moment she is my main photo on top of my Rolling Stones pillow), and just recently gave me this collection:

But I had to break them free, they had to meet my little Rey:

“You may not recognize me without my red arm,” C3PO explains to an indifferent Rey.

“Daddy? Is that you?”

OR, depending on the theories you subscribe to:

“Grandpa, is that you?”

While I initially wanted Rey to be Luke’s daughter, I’m also in favor of the theory that she is Obi-Wan Kenobi’s granddaughter. However, that’s where it gets a bit tricky…as a Clone Wars series fan, it would make me sad to think that Obi-Wan chose the Jedi Path over a romance with Duchess Satine, yet he found another woman some years later. Alas, he was a different man in his youth; loyal to the Jedi Order. However, a true Jedi Order ceased to exist when most of them were wiped out of existence by traitor troopers and newly evil Darth Vader. During that time, Obi-Wan was just chilling on Tattoine, supposedly watching over Luke Skywalker. I’m pretty sure Luke is supposed to be between 18-20 by the time we meet him in a New Hope, which is sure a long time to live quietly alone. It’s completely possible that middle-aged Obi-Wan couldn’t be alone all the time, and met a lovely lady whilst picking up food in the local market or something. Yeah, that’s it…a gorgeous brunette named Eleanor (shut up, this is my story, okay?!). Eleanor has instantly impressed Obi-Wan with her strength, independence, and wit. After all, it takes a strong person to consistently trade with places like the Cantina and not get cheated out of her profits. So, Obi-Wan and Eleanor have a passionate romance because Obi-Wan is all like “screw it, the Jedi Order is DEAD, I can have sex now” because YOLO. However, Obi-Wan doesn’t know how to keep a romantic relationship afloat and Eleanor is disenchanted with his spying on the Lars’ farm. She finds out she’s pregnant and she flees, never telling Obi-Wan. She has a beautiful daughter whom she names Jaylah (ssshhhh, they don’t know anything about the Star Trek universe) . Jaylah naturally turns out to be just as strong and independent as her mother, and she travels the planets, seeking a life of adventure. She eventually meets Luke as he is perhaps just debating on whether or not he should start a new Jedi Order. Luke is instantly infatuated with Jaylah and does contemplate whether a new line of Jedi need to uphold to all of the old rules…ultimately deciding that no, they don’t; part of his father’s path to the Dark Side was hiding his romance with Padme and ultimately protecting her in what he thought was the only way possible. So, like Obi-Wan before him, he’s all like YOLO and romances Jaylah, and then Jaylah becomes pregnant with Rey. Oops, did I just combine the two theories?! Jaylah does not necessarily have to have sex with Luke, but quite frankly, why wouldn’t you?! That would explain Rey’s undeniable strength in the Force!

Forgive my rambling….

Look at my Itty Bittys all together!! I need more.